Wednesday, November 23, 2011

CDs I want

Hypocrisy - Penetralia
Hypocrisy - The Arrival
Sonata Arctica - Silence
Sentenced - Amok
Sentenced - Down
Sentenced - Frozen
Sentenced - Crimson
Sentenced - The Funeral Album
Death - Spiritual Healing
Toto - Toto
Thin Lizzy - Chinatown
Thin Lizzy - Jailbreak
Thin Lizzy - Bad Reputation
Thin Lizzy - Black Rose: A Rock Legend
Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dream

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Money & Fear

It seems like everything in this world is based off of money and fear. You may say your job is to help people or provide for your family, but the core of the situation is this money and fear thing being tied together.

No one can truly attempt anything anymore (and probably never could have) without some kind of financial risk. It seems like society looks down upon hobos, vagabonds, or anyone who doesn't have a stable home, even if it's based on choice. You can't really go out in the world and live rapidly anymore without being judged. Not only that, but society will find a way to bring you down and level you out based on their terms. In the worst cases, you doing something adventurous can result in you being labeled crazy.

What if you just wanted to go out into the wilderness and live like ancient men off the land with no laws or society? Turns out, you don't own that land, so your dreams of being a hunter-gatherer are crushed. Society has moved on to 'better ideas,' but where did this sense of entitlement come from? Owning land? We evolved and developed on this planet, so somehow we tend to think we own it. And even that statement is a little warped, because we only live on the surface on the planet. No one wants to own anything below that, because there's nothing but rock and magma. Most of the useful resources are on or in the crust.


Another reason you can't just go out in the world anymore and live is because it's not safe. And it seems like there never was a time where it was safe. People always want to pick at you and take advantage of you constantly, even subconsciously. It seems you can only trust those who you yourself can take advantage of or those who are predictable. Because I want to make this topic relevant to me, what if I wanted to go on my own and become a traveling musician around the country or even the world? Not only would society oppress me for my lifestyle, but I risk people trying to rob my car, mug me, or even kill me.

Like in archaic days, we still have roaming bandits and thieves around here. Out in the world as I described, and also in our own worlds. Even if I become a recording artist at home, or in a studio, I risk the chance of getting my music and money stolen from thieves. Even corporations may as well be considered thieves. It seems like when any company, or any single person really, becomes corrupt once they attain success, stability and power. And we're not always safe from that corruption. Sometimes it can be something trivial, like something we can just boycott. But other times, it can be important things vital to our life or security.

I guess what I'm trying to say, bluntly stated, is that all that seems to matter to have an uninterrupted and long life is everlasting fortune to supply our lifestyle needs and some kind of ultimate defense or security to keep us physically going. Ultimately, something is eventually going to bring us to our end, naturally. But often we are brought to our doom unnaturally by this imaginary thing called money and the confusing, selfish actions of other people caused by fear. With all this being said, I have no idea how to appropriately connect the issue of schizophrenic children to this topic. It's a scary world out there. I think I've made sense of my own points, but probably not.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Deep Undergound

I've been neglecting this blog over the past few months. I honestly just haven't really had the time to post in it or manage it. And for the most part, I forgot about this blog. I only remembered I still had one after my buddy, Dom, asked me to help setup his blog.

I recently just started a new blog, called The Journey of Spinscythe. But, it's a baby. So there's nothing there yet. Basically it's going to be where I post updates and information about my music project Spinscythe. And I'm going to try to co-manage it with my fellow guitarist, Jimmy Lopez. We'll see how that goes! Hopefully we are able to attract readers and also find new methods of obtaining fans across the web.

So I have been busy. I have actually been through a lot recently and eventually I am going to blog about it on here. But I must admit I am much happier than I used to be. And I also realize this was my venting space.

I guess what it is that I truly miss about blogging here is that I felt my posts were works of art. Sort of poetic in an abstract way. It used to just be about venting and keeping track of the times, but I think the better side of my blogging was when I was just rambling about abstract thoughts that seemed to fall into place well enough to be understood. I hope I am still able to do that. It was fun. :)

(More posts coming soon)

Saturday, May 28, 2011

As the Chai Kingdom melody plays and I look at a memorial of someone from the past, I think to myself of things I somehow am reminded of...

It's been about a year now since my old band has split up.

Looking at the past is something that is sometimes painful, occasionally fun, and mostly discouraging. These memorials of the dead on Facebook sometimes make me think about the unknown after death. But what really matters is that they make me realize how i am definitely a part of this town.

It seems weird to say that, but when I think about the people I know and those I went to school with (even the ones I don't talk to), I realize that I know people through other people. And that we're all connected. And eventually, I'll meet all of them officially whether I want to or not. Life will take me that way.

It's like I'm destined to be connected with everyone at some point.

I have looked at people in the past and said "I'll probably never talk to him/her..." and I ended up talking to them anyway. Not because I wanted to. Because life took me down that road.

If I tried harder to be more social and active, I could have a large portion of this town on my side. They could get to know me as a musician and support me. And I'd have the support of my home town.

Without trying, it's already becoming that. All who hear me and eventually meet me end up supporting me. Only a few times have I bumped into someone who I disagree or fight with. And hopefully those people will leave me alone now. I've found happiness. I have separated myself from those that make me unhappy, found a girlfriend, and improved on my music enough to be independent.

I wont stop here, of course. I'm always wanting more. But I don't have much depressing things to blog about right now. I'm not ashamed of myself. And I probably don't give myself enough credit. It's not worth trying to live so down your entire life and ignore opportunity. I'm not saying I have it all figured out. Not at 23. But now that things have changed so dramatically and the past is looking like something shiny that's broken beyond repair, I'm starting to believe that this life is something that can't be figured out for everyone. Maybe each of us as individuals work better and happier together, but life seems like a puzzle you have to solve on your own. Because it is your own life and only you know what you need to do with it.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

A really lazy and slack explanation of predicting the future

Before I get to that... I just want to point out a new pet peeve of mine: naive/innocent people. It's almost like... no personality ever developed. They're like shells. Nothing contained inside but questions and no motivation to have them answered. And sometimes I consider myself naive. But remember, kids. We're all hypocrites.

Actually I started thinking about it last night (or today, not sure) and I came to an awkward conclusion that most the things people bitch about from other people are the same things they are upset about within themselves.

Getting to it... I can base my predictable actions on my feelings and link my feelings with past end results. Basically, I'm doing the same things over and over - sacrificing my time for others and getting nothing out of it in return. I can already predict, based on what I'm doing now, that I will end up empty-handed again. So... why bother? Why let myself get all excited, enthusiastic, and make sacrifices senselessly?

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

For a few minutes in a Lifetime

accept humanity.
accept flaws.
embrace it as art.
see the ugly as a stepping stone to eternal beauty.
and a necessary evil for realizing what beauty is.